Out of Control
by Redwaters
Summary: Our purple clad turtle as gone monster, but his 'humane' mind has to still be around trying to fight to stay existing.


**Disclaimer:** TMNT and anything from that world do not belong to me.

_A/N: I'm sure this little plotbunny has been done by someone, somewhere. But I thought I'd give my own version of Donnie's thought while being trapped within his monsterous self ._

_I wrote this for just the heck of itand I did make sure I grammer checked, but if I missed anything I'm sorry ._

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**Out of Control**

Since when did I have to fight for control? It's my body, mine! So why am I fighting to be in control of it and losing.

I was in control when I felt hot enough to take off the blanket that was on top of me. I was in control when I felt my leg hurt so badly, when I suddenly discovered my body was changing. I was still in control when I realized that I couldn't stay in the apartment, that I couldn't stay around April and Casey any longer.

I knew at that point that I had to get back to my lab, that I had to find out what was going on with me before it was too late. But the minute I hit the bottom step in the basement, just when I was about to go through the entrance my brothers and I created, was when I lost control to…_him_. I lost to this new consciousness that was in my mind.

'Who are you?' I asked. Somehow this new invader within me was familiar, yet at the same time it was not.

'_Me…you._' The mentality answered, but it had a growling tone and it seemed to struggle with words.

'No! You can't be.' I told my second minded. 'You are…are…'

'_Monster? Maybe…still…me…you._'

'What do you want?'

'_Want? Control…body…mine._'

'No, this is my body and I will be in control of it.'

'_You…control? No…no control…longer. Me…now…control._'

Suddenly there was a voice calling me…us…someone named Donatello. I…we…turn around to see who it was. It was April and Casey, yet they didn't look like how I remember them. They looked different, blurry, frightening. And they smelled different. I never could smell them before, not like this anyway, but I can now in my new form.

Then my body makes a move towards them and attacks Casey.

'Why are you attacking them?'

'_Enemy…them._'

'They are my…our friends.'

'_No…friends…no…hurt, enemies…hurt._'

I was about to protest when something hit us. It was a broom wielded by April. "Let him go." She cried.

I didn't even wanted to grab Casey, but like I said, I wasn't in control. However my 'monster' side seemed to have minded April and did what she said. I was glad he did so, until he wanted to go after her. This move causes April to call my brothers for help.

When they come they start attacking me, _me_. I'm their brother and they are attacking me without question. But as I watch myself fighting them, I realize that they don't look like my brothers anymore. They look like monsters themselves. But though the look so different, I don't want to fight them. Apparently neither did my monster part, especially when my brothers really started to pound on us.

I think I was able to take control of my body for a moment, enough to make us run away. I really wanted to get back to my lab, but I couldn't remember where it was. Though I've traveled this tunnel many times before, going from our new home to April's, nothing seem to look the same. I roam the sewers, lost, for what seemed like hours. And all the while I'm fighting to keep in control of my body, to keep my monster mind in check, but I could slowly feel myself losing to it.

Then I hear a voice, a distorted voice, but one I kind of remember it. "Oh you ugly excuse for a mutant who used to be my beloved brother Donatello where are Yoooooouuuuu!" It's Mikey. I run towards the voice. With Mikey's help I can find the lair and figure out what's wrong with me. But my monster side had something else in mind when we find my young brother.

The minute we spied my orange clad brother my monster mind took over my body again. 'Stop, what are you doing?'

'_Enemy!_' My monster side chased after Mikey down the sewer tunnels. '_Our enemy!_'

'No, that's my brother. He can help us.'

'_Help you…not me…make me...go away._'

'…' I didn't know how to respond to that. He was right. My brothers would make my monster side go away.

'_No go…stay…want to…stay._'

Suddenly I notice that his way of talking was getting better. His speech was starting to come forth more easily. Is he winning control of my body, of my mind? Am I losing?

And as I'm pondering such thoughts, I realized that I was locked within a contaminate unit. 'Wait, I'm in here too.'

'_See? Enemies, all of them._'

'No. I know why I'm in here. It's because I'll hurt them. I'm no longer in control, you are.'

'_Yes. And I…wish to stay…that way._'

'But you won't, because I won't let you. They won't let you.' I see Master Splinter put a hand on the glass of my cell. The look in his eyes, so full of sorrow and of pain. I can also see my brother. They look…so lost, so helpless. I hear Leather Head tell them that he has no cure, that he doesn't know how to help me.

'Is there really nothing that could be done?' I wonder while my monster side beats on the containment unit. 'Will I be stuck like this forever?' He doesn't want to be stuck in such a small, refined space. And…neither do I.

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_A/N2: I'm thinking of making this a bit of a two parter. I mean since I did 'Adventures in Turtle Sitting' why not have 'Good Genes Part 1'? But I don't know how well this will go down._


End file.
